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28/02/2008 Why aren't we more interesting?So as you know, I’m riveted by the U.S. Democratic primaries. An unapologetic fan of the Clintons, I’ll follow the race to the bitter end. The Republicans interest me too, though less so. I know nearly all of the candidates’ names and some trivia about each—enough to carry on a half decent conversation, anyway. I’m not embarrassed to admit that I don’t know half as much about Canadian politics as I do about what’s going on in the U.S. I pay attention, but it’s just not as interesting. And the sad thing is that when it gets interesting, it’s usually equally embarrassing. Take this week for example, one of McGuinty’s staff was the subject of an alleged death threat. A woman who clearly has too much time on her hands sent Dalton hundreds of e-mails. She’s not the first, and won’t be the last person to pester a politician. Neelam Vir sent ‘hundreds of rambling e-mails’ to McGuinty, approached his wife with her resume and brought her daughters to an event to meet him. In September she sent a packet of gulab jamun mix to McGuinty via one of his staff. She later followed up, telling McGuinty (via e-mail) she’d told the woman she’d kill her if she didn’t deliver the gift intended to ‘express her love and affection’ to him. McGuinty’s office (who, and how high up is still a question) registered this as a threat and turned it over to the police. She’s been charged with conveying a death threat in a case that’s due in court this week. The woman was obviously a nuisance, and the tone of her remarks, sent via e-mail, are impossible to interpret. Naturally, she’s hiding behind the ‘cultural misunderstanding’ defence. Give me a break lady. Even if you were joking, which for your sake, I hope you were, in what country is it culturally acceptable to casually tell a political staff member you’ll kill her if she doesn’t do what you ask? And though it’s not clear how long Vir’s been in Canada, she is a highly educated woman…and anyone with half a brain knows that a brown person living on our paranoid post-9/11 planet shouldn’t joke about violence outside the comfort of her own home…if there. Of course the politically correct police, including linguistics professors, are taking up the cause of Vir’s defence. Really? In a world where students who write provocative essays are isolated, where kindergarteners who point toy guns are suspended, we think it’s ok for a grown woman to make a death threat (unintended though it may be), in writing? Gaah! I’m obviously somewhat left of centre, and I enjoy the fact that most Canadians I encounter in the GTA bubble are too, but it’s times like these that I wish we had some hard-nosed right winters who aren’t afraid of the politically correct police to stand up and point the righteous finger of blame where it belongs. Weird goings on, but not exactly captivating. Enter Smitherman. The Health Minister responded to comments from nursing home workers about their inability to attend to nursing home residents because of a shortage of staff by saying he would wear and use an adult diaper to determine a reasonable amount of time between changes. A comment that is stupid on so many levels I don’t know where to begin. What George is saying is that he’ll sit in his own waste until he gets uncomfortable and that’ll determine a reasonable level of care for nursing home residents. Sick, sick, sick. The response was fast and furious with critics saying his remarks made it seem like he didn’t understand the issue which is not adult diaper absorbency, but an insufficient number of staff to care for the needs of nursing home residents. George apologized today: "At the heart of it, you say a million words and some of them you wish that you could take back," he said in an interview on CFRB. "The people of the province of Ontario I hope know me well enough to know that I'm doing my very best to put myself at all times in the perspective of the patient." It’s safe to assume he meant the patient’s position, not perspective. And it’s obvious from the reaction his comments received that the people of Ontario think he’s not the quickest bunny in the forest…and they’re probably right. Still, I wasn’t on the edge of my seat waiting for his apology…because the minute he said the words I knew the reaction and response would quickly follow. So I’ll continue following the primaries with one eye on the goings on at home, just in case. 10/02/2008 PakistaniaSo I’ve been writing this one in my head for a while, and I’m not sure how it’s going to come out but rest assured, I have a point and will get there eventually. Oh, and before I forget, this one’s for my new, old friend.
A couple of weeks ago I was at a day-long community event (read: brown people thing)and during the lunch break I spent some time chatting with a few women I met for the first time that day. Somehow the conversation turned to where we’re from, and when I said I was from Pakistan they reacted with genuine shock. They said they never would’ve guessed I’m from Pakistan because I ‘have no accent at all,’ this coming from women whose strong accents instantly reveal their origins. It probably sounds silly and insignificant, but I was really upset by that conversation...weeks later I can’t stop thinking about it. Here I was with a group of people with whom I’m supposed to have a lot in common, and at the first opportunity for casual conversation not only was I told I’m ‘other’ I was also measured against a ridiculous stereotype and found lacking.
It’s weird enough living in a place where people try to label you without having to deal with it in what’s supposed to be a safe space. If you know me, you know that my ethnicity isn’t visibly obvious, and my name doesn’t help much either. And for the most part, I like it that way...it’s nice being different...usually I revel in my ‘other’ status. But lately I feel like I’m other wherever I go, so it’s losing its appeal.
And now, being from Pakistan is a responsibility. The truth is that no one’s really from there...at least not our generation...because our parents’ generation spent a lot of time being displaced. With moving from India to Africa to Bangladesh/East/West Pakistan, and a good chunk of time spent being British subjects, it’s no wonder it was relatively easy for our parents to leave The East for The West. I was born in Pakistan (the first in my family) and so I do feel like I’m from there. And when I see what’s happening there it breaks my heart.
The country itself is kind of confusing. From what I understand, the population’s made up of a lot of people whose families started out elsewhere and those who started out there but had to move around to accommodate the ones from other places. So just about everyone’s displaced in some sense. Add to that the fact that the ones who came in from elsewhere often arrived with money and education, further displacing those who were there first, and a whole host of religious disparities and you’ve got a tempest in a teapot (I’ve always wanted to use that...I’m not quite sure it fits, but there it is).
As if that’s not enough, add education and wealth extremes, a lack of essential infrastructure and equal access to basic health care and it’s no wonder there’s unrest. But wait, there’s more! Political corruption, long running territorial disputes (thanks to arbitrary lines drawn by the colonialists) and restrictions on almost every aspect of daily life don’t make for a happy population.
And now The West is involved. Suddenly everyone knows that Pakistan is its own country, not a part of India (just like there’s a difference between Canada and the U.S., there’s a difference between Pakistan and India!). But the state of affairs in Pakistan isn’t anything new...it’s a young country with a turbulent history, but there’s been no interference from The West until now. Why? Well, Pakistan’s in an obviously prime geographic location given the situations in Afghanistan, Iran and Iraq. But when all that’s over, it’s likely that Pakistan will go back to being a desert country full of wacky Muslims who no one is at all interested in.
For now I guess we have to watch as The West tries once again to impose democracy on a culture it doesn’t understand. My questions: What about all those other non-democratic countries? (Oh right, they’ve got oil, so we don’t want to offend them.) And did it ever occur to anyone that democracy may not be for everyone? No? Ok, I guess it’s just me then. 04/01/2008 Things around.So this post is dedicated to my small brown man friend; he’ll know why. To begin my sure to be short lived effort to write about mundane things, this post is about something non-controversial that drives me crazy: the misuse of language. For those of you who haven’t been paying attention, yes, I am a nerd. Waiting for the train at Bloor, I noticed a sign that said: ‘This elevator is out of service for preventive maintenance.’ Did someone change the meaning of maintenance while I was sleeping? Because the last time I checked, maintenance was preventive: we maintain our cars so they don’t fall apart. You with me so far? I watched a little too much TV over the holidays and discovered a shampoo commercial that makes me want to tear my hair out (punny, no?). The woman featured says: ‘I almost didn’t believe it could happen.’ So then you did believe it, or so you said…if you listened to what you said. On Fashion Television a woman was talking about a collection produced by a number of assistants after a designer passed away: ‘If he was alive, he’d be spinning in his grave.’ Umm…if he was alive, he wouldn’t be in a grave…would he? And finally: around. Again, it’s possible they changed the meaning since I last checked, but I doubt it. The following phrases make my brain pain: ‘centered around’ A centre is a point, so discussions can centre on something…if a discussion goes around a centre it doesn’t get to the point, does it? ‘questions around’ I usually ask questions about something so I get useful answers…questions around something wouldn’t address the subject, would they? ‘ideas around’ Again…ideas are usually about something, ideas around a subject are likely to be useless. ‘built around’ Things are built on foundations, not around them…in the same way a show can be built (or based) on a character or revolve around a character (see what I did there?), but if its built around a character one would assume that character wouldn’t be featured, right? Next week: pronunciation (maybe…). 01/01/2008 2008So I've been off blogging recently because a post I wrote recently triggered an unexpected, and frankly inappropriate response.
Apparently that's what I get for using this space to express myself. So in 2008 I resolve to either write about more trivial things or care less about the reactions my writing prompts. Stay tuned to find out which.
Happy New Year! 28/10/2007 Tales from the UndergroundSo, it’s been a while since I wrote about my commute. Things have changed a bit. Now I commute on my own, driving to the subway and then taking the train by myself in to the city. I don’t mind commuting alone. Other than not being able to take the HOV lane, it’s not too bad. Until I get to the subway. For the record, I actually enjoy taking the TTC. It’s kind of a cool thing to share my commute with so many other people. All of us just trying to make our way through the week. And, sometimes, nice things happen on the subway. The other day I was standing in the doorway of a northbound car next to an older man. He was struggling a bit to balance his bag, umbrella and newspaper. I as usual was listening to my iPod and reading a book. Then I noticed him drop his newspaper, so I bent down to pick it up for him. He thanked me. I smiled and went back to my book. A few minutes later he dropped his paper again. I picked it up again. This time he thanked me and apologized, saying ‘It’s me again! Sorry, I do that a lot.’ I think I said something like, ‘No problem.’ A few minutes later we stopped at Lawrence, and as he was leaving the man put his hand on my arm and said, ‘If you ever drop your book, I’ll be there to pick it up for you.’ I laughed and said thanks as he exited the train. It’s good to know there are nice people in Toronto, and some of them take the TTC. But it seems that few, if any, of them work in TTC fare booths. As you may know, we’re in the midst of a fare hike. The new fares go in to effect on November 1st, which means you can no longer buy tokens in bulk. For a while you could buy tokens in fives. Now you can only buy tickets, in fives, which means it’s not possible to use the automated entrances anymore. This is a nuisance to say the least. Of course, it’s not the decision of those on the front line. And they’re the ones who end up dealing with the fall out...the long lines at fare booths, the confused and irritated passengers. The pain lasts for a couple of weeks and then things go back to normal. And the truth is that relatively speaking, the TTC isn’t that expensive. With the adult fare under three dollars we still get pretty good value for our money. Or we would if the service was decent. The trains and stations are a disgusting mess. Delays are expected rather than exceptions. And those on the front lines don’t appear to be familiar with the concept of service with a smile. If you choose (or are forced to) stand on a bus, streetcar or train, you’re putting your life in your hands...literally, you better hang on or you could end up seeing the grimy floor up close. I wouldn’t mind the annual fare hikes if it was possible to commute with a little dignity, not having to wedge myself between people I don’t know...having to stand so close to them it’s possible to smell what they had for breakfast. It doesn’t help that you never know how long your commute will take. Forty-five minutes one day, an hour and a half the next. Of course, fixing the infrastructure takes time, but if they don’t start making investments now things will never improve. Let’s hope they get the message soon. In the meantime, I’d be happy to get service without a sneer once in a while. The other night I was taking the train back to my car after a long day at work, followed by dinner with friends. I was tired and my feet hurt. I got in to a subway car and sat down. I looked up from my book to see an old friend from high school sitting across from me. We hadn’t seen each other in years. We had a great conversation, before her stop, and are planning to get together for dinner in a few weeks. So you see, sometimes nice things do happen on the TTC. 21/10/2007 Three more things.So, once again I’ve got three things to write about. No friendship news though, so don’t get all excited.
First, weird things are happening in our neighbourhood: to us. We live in a suburb that has green bin collection which means everyone collects their food waste separately from other trash and puts it out in a special bin for pick up alongside other trash and recycling. The city tells us that our green bins are racoon proof, and they do seem pretty sturdy. But for some reason, every time we put ours out some being manages to open it up, rip the bag inside and spread food waste on our drive and/or walkway. It’s pretty gross. Whoever wakes up first ends up going outside to clean up the mess. Occasionally it’s me as I’m about to head off to work. How would you enjoy cleaning up food waste when you’ve showered, dressed and are about to start your day? Yeah, well, I don’t either. So we’re trying to figure out why this happens to us when it doesn’t happen to anyone else on the street. Our (possibly paranoid) conclusion is that someone on the street is targeting us. But we can’t figure out why. Our street’s pretty peaceful, and though everyone keeps to themselves nobody seems to have an issue with anyone else. Except, maybe us. But how is it possible that we’ve done something to offend someone when we have less than minimal contact with each other? I hate to jump to the conclusion that we’re being targeted because we’re a minority ethnic group/religion...but I can’t think of any other reason. Can you?
And I am, of course, keeping an eye on Karachi. The bombings the other day as Benazir made her way home were no surprise. It didn’t take a security expert to say she should’ve taken a helicopter from the airport to her home (as she was advised to do), but she didn’t. Because she enjoys the spectacle that is her popularity, more than one hundred people are dead and countless others are injured. Their blood is on her hands. I hope the voters in Pakistan remember that when they go to the polls.
Ellen. Oh Ellen. I used to be a fan. But I’m so disappointed by the dog kerfuffle I don’t know what to say. I mean clearly the people who run this adoption agency are control freaks to the extreme. And though I’m not a pet person, I understand how your hairdresser’s daughters would have become attached to the pooch only to have him snatched away. But for you to use your show to plead for the dog’s return when you know you violated the terms of the agreement (however ridiculous they might be) is shameful. You know the power celebrity wields (how ridiculous that might be) and yet you feign shock and horror when the woman heading up the agency receives death threats. It’s a sad state of affairs Ellen...and you’ve got only yourself to blame. I may occasionally watch your show, but it’ll take a while for the tarnish to fade...if it ever does. 14/10/2007 Three things and Bill O'ReillySo, once again it’s been a while. What can I say? The new job and Ramzaan have kept me busy and tired enough to drain the creative juices somewhat. But with the end in sight I feel a sense of renewed energy. And I’ve got three things to write about. I can’t remember how long ago it was that I wrote about a friendship ending. So I’m not sure whether it’s odd that I think another has ended. If I’m honest about it, this one’s been dying on the vine for a while. We worked together for a few years, and in the beginning she seemed like the only other normal person in the place. Despite our age difference we seemed to have a lot in common. And suddenly we were part of a group. We had lunch together every Friday and sometimes days in between. It was fun. We were all critical of everything and terribly sarcastic. She was like my mom at work. But…things got weird pretty quickly. She clearly needed us in a way we didn’t need her. I won’t go in to the details of her family situation because there’s a possibility she’ll read this and I wouldn’t want to expose her in that way. To put it simply, I think we filled a void for her. And for a while, we were happy to do it. Then I wasn’t so happy about it anymore. Our lunches started to feel like inquisitions where I was put on the spot to answer questions about my life and my family. Talk about awkward. Am I the only one who thinks that even though I may be critical of my family, it doesn’t mean you can too? The rest of the group noticed the weirdness and felt themselves stuck in the middle with no way out. There were times when we would sneak off for lunch without here and worry about getting caught. Then my department moved to another location and I felt like I’d been given a get out of jail free card. Our lunches became less frequent and suddenly didn’t feel so weird. Then I changed jobs altogether and was too busy to meet. More than a year passed. My contract ended, I went on vacation, and when I got back I sent a hello message to the group. The response I got from her put me on the spot all over again. But I took the coward’s way out. Rather than tell her how uncomfortable she made me feel and how much pressure is involved in being her friend, I didn’t respond at all. And now I’m writing this. But I’m committed to responding to her e-mail before I post it. I’m not sure what will happen, but if it’s anything like what I watched her go through with others, even she’ll know our friendship is over. So that’s that I guess. I’m not sure how much sense it made to share this, but there it is. At the same time, oddly enough, I’ve found a new friend. Thanks, in part, to Facebook. This woman and I knew each other in high school. But we weren’t exactly friends. In fact we had a distinct disdain for each other. I don’t remember the exact circumstances—probably because it’s easier to block out my adolescent stupidity—but for whatever reason we hadn’t spoken in years. Until Facebook. I can’t remember who added whom as a friend, but somehow we found ourselves ‘friends’ after all these years. Thanks to my obsession with listing how I know everyone on my friend list, we started a conversation. She lives out west now and has a young child. Our lives couldn’t be more different. But she’s a writer. And out of nowhere we were sharing our work, and a bond formed. She’s coming to town to visit her grandparents and I’m looking forward to seeing her. If it wasn’t for the weird web we probably would never have connected. Nice, huh? I think so. The third thing I wanted to write about doesn’t seem to fit. But I think I’ll write about it anyway. My grandmother died recently. She was the last of my grandparents. Now I have none. She was nearly eighty, dealing with a number of ailments and clearly tired of life in the most literal sense. The whole family was together for a wedding this summer, and though we knew she was ready to go and that the end was near, none of us were ready for it. I was at work when the call came, so my dad called to let me know. So I had the commute home to absorb the news. When I got home, things were different. I had to make calls to tell people the news, answer the calls that came in and handle the flow of people coming through the house. The next day I made calls looking for a space to hold the memorial reception. My parents weren’t sure when to have it. I picked a date, found a space and went to check it out with my brother. We made a list of things we needed…he did the shopping. On the day we set everything up and took care of the serving and the clean up, with help from a few good friends. We basically ran the show. It was tiring, but important. It’s the first time I’ve felt my parents really rely on me for anything. I mean sure I’m the kid who’s expected to take care of things, and I’m the one who the family calls for everything, but this was different. I’m not sure how to explain it, but it feels like a page was turned. Does that make any sense at all? And finally, this doesn’t fit at all, but I’ve got one tidbit from weeks worth of Harper’s to share: FOX talk-show host Bill O'Reilly ate a meal in Harlem. "There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, 'M-Fer, I want more iced tea,'" said O'Reilly. "You know, I mean, everybody was--it was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun." 18/09/2007 Too tired to think of a title.So I’ve been holding back (I’m not sure why) on a couple of things but now I have to get them off my chest. 1. The Goldmans You lost your son in a brutal murder for which no one was held accountable. No one is denying that this is tragic. I can’t begin to imagine the pain you must feel every day. O.J.’s attempt to publish his ‘if I did it’ book was disgusting. But your taking the rights for the book and publishing it under another name is also somewhat sickening. Now you’re after the memorabilia. What next? I realize you’re trying to seize the fool’s assets to fulfill the sum you were awarded through the civil suit, but at what point do you realize that you’re crossing the line from grief to greed? 2. The ‘secret witness’ I’m watching the Today show this morning (as I do every morning, because I’m in love with Matt Lauer…not in a crazy-stalkerish way, so don’t worry) when Ann Curry (who I also love) starts talking to a lawyer who’s linked in live from Salt Lake City. It took about five seconds to realize that this woman was THRILLED to be on Today. Her smile was miles wide. Why was she there? She’s the lawyer for the ‘secret witness’ who came forward to testify in the swirling confusion that is the Spears/Federline custody case. The witness is a former Spears bodyguard who hasn’t worked for her since May 2007. Why did he come forward? Ostensibly out of concern for the kids (if you believe that, I’d love to sell you an acre on the moon…prime real estate, really!). Why ‘secret’? Well he didn’t want the press troubling his young children and their mother. Imagine that! Why wait all these months? Umm…well…look over there, a shiny object! Anyway, turns out the judge is basically ignoring his testimony…whatever he said is under seal, and no one bothered to cross-examine him. I expect we’ll see his hulking frame, and his lawyer’s smile-split face for days to come though…ugh. 3. Harper vs. Elections Canada I think it was about a week ago (maybe more) when our Phew! I feel better now. Also this morning, I saw a story about the student who was tasered by campus security (I can’t remember which school) at a John Kerry event. Reports say the guy has an ‘inflammatory blog’ (I wonder if mine falls into the same category?) and enjoys the limelight, but the footage I saw shows campus security overreacting to someone who was exercising his right to free speech. I believe three or four officers restrained the guy who was unarmed and non-threatening. The land of the free, ya gotta love it. And finally, it’s Tuesday which means Harper’s is in my inbox…here are a few good bits: A new British poll estimated that 1.2 million people had died so far in the war, and former Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan wished that politicians would admit that the war was "largely about oil." You and everyone else Al. The governor of Ulyanovsk, Russia, urged everyone to skip work and make love. For fun or for baby making? How do we know if you don’t tell us? Near Grand Forks, North Dakota, at least 1,600 catfish died of unknown causes, ruining the fishing season, and evening traffic slowed in Santa Barbara, California, as commuters watched the carcass of a 70-foot blue whale drift south along the highway. Ick. I leave you with a cartoon that made me laugh. Hope you enjoy it too. 16/09/2007 In America this week...oh, and stuff from other places too.So it's Ramzaan again which means I'm doing the whole up at 5 am routine and am already quite exhausted even though it's only day four. But I did manage to read Harper's this week and as always am sharing a few choice bits with you. Enjoy! Frances Fragos Townsend, the top homeland security adviser to President Bush, said that a new videotape released by Osama bin Laden showed that the Al Qaeda leader was "virtually impotent." Hands up if you know what impotent means. Ok, now keep them up if you understand Frances. Phew, I thought it was just me. A corrupt official in China was caught plagiarizing his trial apology from another corrupt official. Hi-larious. The Friends of Jesus went to Kenya's High Court in a bid to clear the Messiah of the blasphemy charge that resulted in his crucifixion. Wow. Talk about justice delayed... Spokesmen for Larry Craig said that the senator, caught flirting in a men's room, would resign, then that he wouldn't, and then that he would. His former chief of staff claimed that Craig had been planning to quit anyway. Sure, and Bush meant to refer to Australians as Austrians. A high school student in New Hampshire asked John McCain if the senator was too old to be president. "Thanks for the question, you little jerk," McCain replied. "You're drafted!" Way to win friends and voters John! You may want to hold off on booking that moving van… 04/09/2007 Laugh or cry people. Laugh or cry...So, despite my best intentions I didn’t end up blogging at all this long weekend, but since I promised I’m back with a quickie on this first day of school. It’s Tuesday so I’ve got a few bits from Harper’s to share…it’s written by a different person each week now, so I don’t know who to credit, but you know the drill. President George W. Bush predicted a "nuclear holocaust" if Iran develops weapons of mass destruction and accused the country of undertaking "murderous activities in Iraq"; Iran's foreign minister described Bush's comments as a sign of "political despair" caused by "a serious problem in creating propaganda for the next election." You already know what I think of Bush. Now I think Iran’s foreign minister is rather astute. City officials in Houston, Texas, were investigating a "Ghetto Handbook" distributed by the local police to its officers. The booklet, subtitled "Wucha dun did now?" contained, among other items, a glossary that would enable the police to communicate "as if you just came out of the hood." Terms defined in the glossary included "foty" for a 40-ounce bottle of beer; "aks" for "to ask a question"; and "hoodrat" for "a scummy girl." How whack is dat?! Sure, that makes sense. Why encourage kids to run around in the fresh air…it’s not like they benefit from physical activity anyway. China declared its one-child policy an environmental weapon in the fight against global warming, and a wild male elephant burgled a circus in eastern India, making off with an attractive female elephant. And in other news, George W. Bush is moonlighting as a publicist for the Chinese government. Who’s going to stand in the way of elephant love? My guess: no one. |
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